Thursday, January 2, 2014

2013 Year in Review: Thank God it's Over

So, 2013 ended with a friendly kick in the shins.

I blame the calendar makers for insisting the overlap of Thanksgiving with Hanukkah, then the hiccup of days until Christmas and a mere sneeze of time into the next year.

Dizzy, dizzy coco pop.

That spinning of my head could also be due to Alex baking us into diabetic comas, from whence we awoke just this morning.

Remember these?

Now, I am compelled to shake the powdered sugar from my eyes and reflect on that cursed chore we called "2013." This new 2014 is bound to be far superior to it's odd-numbered antecedent for two reasons:
1) I finally get to use my  2014 Great Trains calendar
2) For dinner yesterday, I ate two helpings of homemade Hoppin' John

Suck it, 2013! 

And thus begins my farewell speech to the year. Good riddance you stinkin' thing:

Part I: Late twenties never felt so achey

Alex's job moved him to San Diego just as I completed my graduate program in Boston and was secretly hoping to settle in the East. But I, jobless, in frightful debt and rather lonely, instead agreed to move West and join him.

We drove West, young man. 

In hindsight, my favorite part was all of it (except trying White Castle, those sliders are pure disgusting).

Part II: Work and play

Alex continued to work like a cute little puppy dog until I found my own nine-to-five. In the meantime, we re-explored California by way of Monterey, Carmel-by-the-Sea, Artichokeland, and Garlicville.

Call us forty-niners! We were all optimism and sunshine in this ever-warm West.

Part III: All work and no play

Because it is required.

Scott Adams with the hard truth.

Part IV: My first trip to Yosemite (Tuolumne Meadows)!

Escaping to the mountains is the best medicine for any ailment or none at all. Proven fact.

Part V: Las Vegas blues

Alex, meet Las Vegas. Las Vegas, be nice to my husband.

Las Vegas does what it wants. 

We visited Sin City on a business trip (my work, Alex's play) which means it was just City with no Sin.

Husband spent more money on booze than gambling, which turned out to be our biggest jackpot of all.

Part VI: Getting Dumped: it's good for you!

Losing a job is much like getting dumped. Isn't it? Okay, I wouldn't know, I never got dumped. But fate and karma teamed up to teach me that lesson all the more effectively.

You know how they say Chicken Pox is unfortunate when children get it, but truly painful for adults? Getting job-dumped is the same. I couldn't evade the virus forever.

The immune system of my character thanks you, powers-that-be.

Part VII: Thanksgivukkahristmas Year's Eve

In sum: cookies.

And family. And much driving. Even more sleep. 'Twas seemingly endless relaxation with good company, homemade food and drink within reach at all times. A sweet, slightly intoxicating, dessert to the calendar year. 

With so much wine and time off work, this must be what Europeans feel like. That's it - for the new year, I resolve to become a European.

Oh wait, wait, I already tried that. Perhaps I should resolve to become a better American (whatever that means)?

Blah, blah, blah, that's not a real resolution.

How about...I resolve to write more of this daily mumbo jumbo life shit down. For reals, this time.

Like, in a journal?

Or, on the margins of my beloved New Yorker and NYT Magazine?

As haikus on the backs of receipts?

In letter form, to penpals of yore?

Or here, on the less glossy pages of the Interwebs?


There - my one resolution is now published. Official. On the records, in the cache. If I've got your mailing address, watch out!

I showed you my show me yours!

And that concludes our talk of 2013. On to the smarter, better, brighter, warmer, happier, less cross-country moving 2014. Happy new year, ya'll.